ENTREPRENEUR BIZ TIPS: Narcissism and Its Discontents | Ramani Durvasula | TEDxSedona

ENTREPRENEUR BIZ TIPS: Narcissism and Its Discontents | Ramani Durvasula | TEDxSedona

Here’s Great Tip: Narcissism and Its Discontents | Ramani Durvasula | TEDxSedona

Here is Something You Should See…

Narcissism has not only become a normalized social condition, it is increasingly being incentivized. The framework of narcissism with the central pillars of lack of empathy, entitlement, grandiosity, superficiality, anger, rage, arrogance, and shallow emotion is a manifestation of pathological insecurity – an insecurity that is experienced at both the individual and societal level. The paradox is that we value these patterns – and venerate them through social media, mainstream media, and consumerism, they represent a fast-track to financial and professional success. These traits are endemic in political, corporate, academic, and media leaders. There are few lives which are not personally touched by narcissists – be it your spouse, partner, parent, child, colleague, boss, friend, sibling, or neighbor. Whether societally or individually, the toxic wave of narcissism, entitlement, and pathological insecurity is harming us all. The enticements of charm, charisma, confidence, and success can draw us in or blind us to the damaging truths of narcissism. The invalidation inherent in these relationships infects those are in them with self-doubt, despair, confusion, anxiety, depression and the chronic feeling of being “not enough,” all of which make it so difficult to step away and set boundaries. The illusion of hope and the fantasy of redemption can result in years of second chances for narcissists, and despondency when change never comes. It’s time for a wake-up call. Health and wellness campaigns preach avoidance of unhealthy foods, sedentary lifestyles, tobacco, drugs, alcohol, but rarely preach avoidance of unhealthy or toxic people. Yet the health benefits of removing toxic people from a life may have a far greater benefit to both physical and psychological health than going to the gym. We need to learn to be better gatekeepers for our minds, bodies, and souls. Instead of habituating to the global shift of validating narcissism and other toxic patterns, it’s time to understand it and take our lives back. Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Santa Monica and Sherman Oaks, CA and Professor of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, where she was named Outstanding Professor in 2012. She is also a Visiting Professor at the University of Johannesburg.

She is the author of the modern relationship survival manual Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving a Relationship With a Narcissist (Post Hill Press) She is also the author of You Are WHY You Eat: Change Your Food Attitude, Change Your Life, as well as the author of numerous peer reviewed journal articles, book chapters and conference papers.

Dr. Ramani received her B.S. in Psychology from the University of Connecticut, and her MA and Ph.D. degrees in Clinical Psychology from UCLA.

She brings a wealth of expertise in relationships, sexuality, health and wellness. Dr. Ramani was the co-host of Oxygen’s series My Shopping Addiction, and has also been featured on series on Bravo, the Lifetime Movie Network, National Geographic, the History Channel, Discovery Science, and Investigation Discovery as well as in documentary films on health. She has been a featured commentator on nearly every major television network, as well as radio, print, and Internet media. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at

20 Replies to “ENTREPRENEUR BIZ TIPS: Narcissism and Its Discontents | Ramani Durvasula | TEDxSedona”

  1. I am a narcissist, I have recognised it but don't want it to change. I am insecure about money and fear drives me. For me it's too big a world to care about anyone but your family. For me individuality comes first, I want to learn more about myself and fine tune my personality.

  2. This talk was brilliant! Thank you Dr. Ramani for bringing this topic so much attention! You have changed so many lives with your videos! I am grateful beyond comprehension! And thank you also for the vocabulary in this speech! The descriptions were spot on!

  3. Somehow this checked most of my traits. It's really intimidating when I trully realized how deep of a hole I must have dug myself into. Being a "product" of a society that always values, not just titles and achievements, but over-achieving and non-stop climbing to the top seem to be the standard for everyone.
    The questions now lie in the cures for this human rights issue. I'm not expecting it to be easy, but better start looking the sooner the better, for me, and all the people I know.
    If anyone saw themselves in the video, don't hesitate to comment below, I would love to talk to you.

  4. I have been suffering since childhood from my mother's narc. abuse and i attract friends who are narcos and get played and knocked down and go into passive aggression and depression and anxiety and self doubt and sabotage and then i have become a passive abuser unable to control myself and diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and and dropped my major because i don't fit in and keep on reading narc people and get lost and my father keeps oj removing me from one uni to another from med to physics to med to physics to business to back, nothing works for me i don't want to end up in psychology major. I'm lost and helpless, since 3 years it's been happening and I have become a passive abuser and psycho

  5. Damn truly impactful, Just got out of a horribly toxic relationship where I feel like my identity was stripped away from me and I had to build the strength to leave. This was the confirmation that I actually left for the good and my decision wasn't wrong. I just bought your book it comes in today, I can't wait!!

  6. Her language skills are amazing, based on the flawless way she jams all this content into her time allotment. I am a subscriber on her channel, it’s super useful.

    BTW At work, no one wants to be seen as the the mean, judgmental person who rejects the narcissist’s behavior. So the toxin is tolerated, throughout organizations.

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